Outside Oxford
By Nicole George
An MQ staff writer tells of her experience as a woman in Bangalore, India.
Stares. For being white. For being sweaty. For being a girl. I can’t smile at people on the street, because friends, this is not Oxford.
All fall 2013, I prepared to study abroad this spring in Bangalore, India. This preparation included following Indian news. Frequent rape and assault stories terrified me, and I feared going to school and living in Bangalore. My mother constantly said, and still says, “Don’t go anywhere alone.”
The whole first week I was in India I followed her advice. I have never missed the assured safety of Oxford’s Saturday night sidewalks so much!
On crowded buses, men and women sit and stand separate from one another. Women wear jeans, pants and scarves to cover themselves even in the 90-degree summer weather. Men will ignore women if a male is present. The Indian norms make female behavior inherently cautious and defensive.
Malin Persson, a 25-year-old Swedish student I study with, knows the unshakeable need to protect herself.
Malin has traveled the world and been to places notoriously dangerous like Egypt, Turkey and Sri Lanka. She has never experienced an assault like her recent attack in Bangalore, though.
“I was walking to the grocery store and it was me and Danielle and she just walked a little bit in front of me and all of a sudden this hand just comes right at me,” Malin says.
A man, for absolutely no reason, reached out and grabbed Malin’s crotch. Not a boob, like Sri Lankans had reached for when Malin was a tour guide there, but her crotch.
“My immediate reaction was that I got pissed,” Malin says. Grabbing his arm, “I screamed ‘What the f***?! He said, ‘I’m sorry Madam,’ and I let go.”
Malin’s experience is actually not typical in southern India where Bangalore is located, but danger is present.
“At night, I feel safe, but I still think about what I wear,” Malin says. “If I have a dress, I still have my leggings. There’s something within me that I think about it anyways.”
I actually feel quite comfortable in Bangalore, and feel bad Malin was groped for no reason. The incident surprised my fellow exchange students and me because westerners frequently visit Bangalore, and many Indians wear jeans and t-shirts around the city.
Our resident director, Jacob John, told us that before Malin, he had never had a student in our exchange program encounter assault.
“Northern India is more unsafe for women to be alone,” John says. “People are less educated and also their sensitivity dealing with people and women comes down.”
India can certainly be unsafe for women. That is why I wear a kirta, a tunic sort of shirt, and puffy pajama-like pants to school every day. I stay covered, and after sunset, an unfortunately early 6:30 pm, I make sure I walk with other people. I do, however, make the forty-minute walk to school every day in solitude and have even taken rickshaws around the city alone.
The most frustrating thing I’ve experienced in India so far is disregard for the female voice.
One weekend, I traveled with another female and a male. The whole weekend, the girl and I were ignored while men approached our friendly blonde companion, Mackenzie, and cracked jokes and gave him tips. If I had a question, they directed their answers to him. If the other female said something, they first looked for Mackenzie’s reaction before responding. Payments and price negotiations were always made through him.
I’ve learned that it’s most important for Indian men to realize that westerners are not all "loose." I try to do this by adapting the norms of Indian culture. Even though I respect the different norms and take them in stride, I’m thankful for American freedoms and equality. Women of Oxford don’t realize how blessed they are to wear shorts, skirts and tank tops. I never even realized how thankful I should be that I can walk home confidently at 11:30 p.m. from King Library! Best of all, I have male friends who listen to me, respect me and treat me like a sister, not a woman who can’t think. Count your blessings, ladies.
By Nicole George
An MQ staff writer tells of her experience as a woman in Bangalore, India.
Stares. For being white. For being sweaty. For being a girl. I can’t smile at people on the street, because friends, this is not Oxford.
All fall 2013, I prepared to study abroad this spring in Bangalore, India. This preparation included following Indian news. Frequent rape and assault stories terrified me, and I feared going to school and living in Bangalore. My mother constantly said, and still says, “Don’t go anywhere alone.”
The whole first week I was in India I followed her advice. I have never missed the assured safety of Oxford’s Saturday night sidewalks so much!
On crowded buses, men and women sit and stand separate from one another. Women wear jeans, pants and scarves to cover themselves even in the 90-degree summer weather. Men will ignore women if a male is present. The Indian norms make female behavior inherently cautious and defensive.
Malin Persson, a 25-year-old Swedish student I study with, knows the unshakeable need to protect herself.
Malin has traveled the world and been to places notoriously dangerous like Egypt, Turkey and Sri Lanka. She has never experienced an assault like her recent attack in Bangalore, though.
“I was walking to the grocery store and it was me and Danielle and she just walked a little bit in front of me and all of a sudden this hand just comes right at me,” Malin says.
A man, for absolutely no reason, reached out and grabbed Malin’s crotch. Not a boob, like Sri Lankans had reached for when Malin was a tour guide there, but her crotch.
“My immediate reaction was that I got pissed,” Malin says. Grabbing his arm, “I screamed ‘What the f***?! He said, ‘I’m sorry Madam,’ and I let go.”
Malin’s experience is actually not typical in southern India where Bangalore is located, but danger is present.
“At night, I feel safe, but I still think about what I wear,” Malin says. “If I have a dress, I still have my leggings. There’s something within me that I think about it anyways.”
I actually feel quite comfortable in Bangalore, and feel bad Malin was groped for no reason. The incident surprised my fellow exchange students and me because westerners frequently visit Bangalore, and many Indians wear jeans and t-shirts around the city.
Our resident director, Jacob John, told us that before Malin, he had never had a student in our exchange program encounter assault.
“Northern India is more unsafe for women to be alone,” John says. “People are less educated and also their sensitivity dealing with people and women comes down.”
India can certainly be unsafe for women. That is why I wear a kirta, a tunic sort of shirt, and puffy pajama-like pants to school every day. I stay covered, and after sunset, an unfortunately early 6:30 pm, I make sure I walk with other people. I do, however, make the forty-minute walk to school every day in solitude and have even taken rickshaws around the city alone.
The most frustrating thing I’ve experienced in India so far is disregard for the female voice.
One weekend, I traveled with another female and a male. The whole weekend, the girl and I were ignored while men approached our friendly blonde companion, Mackenzie, and cracked jokes and gave him tips. If I had a question, they directed their answers to him. If the other female said something, they first looked for Mackenzie’s reaction before responding. Payments and price negotiations were always made through him.
I’ve learned that it’s most important for Indian men to realize that westerners are not all "loose." I try to do this by adapting the norms of Indian culture. Even though I respect the different norms and take them in stride, I’m thankful for American freedoms and equality. Women of Oxford don’t realize how blessed they are to wear shorts, skirts and tank tops. I never even realized how thankful I should be that I can walk home confidently at 11:30 p.m. from King Library! Best of all, I have male friends who listen to me, respect me and treat me like a sister, not a woman who can’t think. Count your blessings, ladies.
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MQ's Winter issue is out! Click this picture to view it online, or pick up a copy on campus or Uptown! It makes for the perfect study break.
Learn about Eleni Balli, the founder of the Opening Minds Through Art (OMA) program in this issue's BOLD!
Learn about Eleni Balli, the founder of the Opening Minds Through Art (OMA) program in this issue's BOLD!
Don't miss ASG's dynamic duo, Charlie Shreiber and Courtney Bernard, in our first issue of the year!
Click the picture to view it online, or pick up an issue at an academic building near you. Also available Uptown at Kofenya, Starbucks, and Kona!
Click the picture to view it online, or pick up an issue at an academic building near you. Also available Uptown at Kofenya, Starbucks, and Kona!